coachella, how dare you

Well the Coachella line up came out yesterday and was met with the traditional shit storm of people clashing over the line up. Does the line up suck? Is it the best one ever? Yes…. I mean no… I mean… I don’t know, and frankly don’t give a crap. It’s a line up with like what, 400 acts, and you’re going to bitch about two of them? Baby please, I think we need to look up the term grateful in the dictionary and recite it to the masses.

I for one am grateful, grateful for the fact that despite me not buying a pre-sale ticket my mother is fronting me the funds to scramble to purchase a weekend 1 ticket. Why? Because my goddess and savior Lana Del Rey is performing. I screamed into my pillow and wanted to go on a rampage when I read her name. Seeing her at the Tropico film premier wasn’t enough to satisfy me, I MUST SEE HER SING LIVE. How dare they fill me with hope last year with rumors galore only to be disappointed by Wu-Tang Clan and the Postal Service. Ok I wasn’t that disappointed, I just wanted to name drop to be honest. They were awesome, be jealous of me.

Also, I know its been said to death within the last 24 hrs but my god could that font BE any smaller? Then they have the nerve to say “can’t read it? download our magnifier app!”…. yea, no. How about you get your lazy graphic designers to bring the font size up and spare me the pain of having to download an app to read your goddamn line up. Do you want people to come? Then shut up and pump that baby to at least a size 12 font in times new roman. Didn’t you pay attention in English class? I’m 20 years old and you’re making me squint like an 80 year old at the eye doctors. Are you trying to make me feel ancient? Are you trying to make me cry? Do you want me to have a nervous breakdown because I COULDN’T READ YOUR LINE UP?! Time to reflect Coachella!

Well let the endless stream of flower crowns, distressed high waisted denim shorts and parade of music festival dedicated blog posts begin! *

*she says as if she’s not going to partake.

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